Paternal Vetting

Waiting outside the door on the weathered, splintering porch, Robert took a deep breath. He was ignoring the various this and thats which littered the old veranda now covered in snow. A well to do gentleman like himself, college educated and next in line for partnership in his father’s property development firm, he couldn’t help but stifle the immediate gut reaction to the working class accommodations he was surrounded by. When he’d met Penelope, she was just some bartender at a local haunt. He never expected for things to escalate between them past a simple one night thing. Four months later, and countless late night calls to her, he found himself preparing to have dinner with her and her father.

While he certainly could have anticipated the socioeconomic level which she resided in based upon the caliber of bar she worked at, as well as the countless hours she needed to work to merely break even, it was still a culture shock which he was neither prepared nor interested to foray into. Yet, to him, a nice obedient wife who was pretty and domestic was too good of a situation to pass up. After the last few trysts with other women ended poorly for him, in his mind, he would settle for Penelope as it was the practical thing to do. Though, after the firm knock on the front door, his stomach began to turn. He’d have to be connected to these plebians for the rest of his life… At least, until someone better came along that is.

The door swung open, and Penelope’s bright, white smile met him. She embraced him earnestly, sincerely happy to see him at her home. Within seconds, Robert pulled away, wiping the flour which had been caked onto her apron off his pristine pastel blue polo.

“Penny. Wipe yourself off before you come in hot like that. This shirt was $450…” Her smile faded slightly as she sighed quietly under her breath. She opened the door and let Robert inside. The foyer was simple, maintained, and clean. Sure, the paint was faded, the family pictures on the wall were less than fine art, and the rug was stained here and there from continual use… but the house was lived in and loved. Yet, to Robert, all he could see was a dingy slum, far from the upper class environment he was used to. Frankly, he wanted this dinner over and done with, as he had something to do afterward. So as he looked down at his Rolex watch, seeing the time, he huffed in exasperation. “We’re gonna get started soon, right? You know I have to make this quick.” Penelope cocked her head to the side, confused.

“I thought you said you could reschedule that appointment for next week, Rob… You know how important this is to me.” Waving his hand flippantly in front of her face, he silenced her with a roll of his eyes and a sigh.

“You want your rent paid next month, Penny? Because it won’t be otherwise.” Penelope pursed her lips, and motioned to the archway to the left of him.

“Yeah, Rob. It’ll be done soon. Here, let me introduce you to dad. He’s been excited to finally meet you!” The floorboards creaked under Robert’s pristine Sperrys, as the hall opened up into the living room. On the couch, smoking a cigar and watching football on an old tube TV was one of the largest men he’d ever seen. Easily 6'6", with arms as big as volleyballs and legs as thick as a tree trunk. He sat there in a raggedy blue tank top and grey compression shorts, his huge booted feet resting on the coffee table. To say he was intimidated was an understatement. But knowing well that he was going to be in and out of there, he bolstered his resolve and did his best to emulate the machismo which the man exuded. “Dad! This is…”

“Good to meet you, sir!” Rob stuck out his hand, cutting off Penelope before she could even finish her sentence. The man turned his head slowly, sizing up the man his daughter had brought home to meet him. His gaze turned back to the television, as he patted the cushion next to him on the sofa.

“Take a load off, son. Penny is whipping up a feast for us, it’ll be done before you have to run off.” The gruff, and sharp tone made it clear he’d overheard them in the foyer. Penelope smiled to her father, winking as she headed to the dining room to set the table. Robert obeyed, clenching his jaw in frustration as he took a seat on the raggedy old couch. The pair sat in silence as the game played on the tv in front of them. Robert could feel a palpable tension growing in the room between them, so in an effort to alleviate some pressure, he broke the ice.

“So, sir. What is it that you do?” The man, still fixated on the Saints-Patriots game, reached over to the table and grabbed a glass of whiskey. He brought it to his lips and slowly took a drink as Robert stared at him, his nerves starting to fray.

“Call me Hank, bud. I’m a construction site foreman.” He lounged back into the couch, scratching the back of his head. A powerful, pungent odor wafted out of the wiry tuft of hair in his pits, punching Robert square in the nose. It was powerful and sharp, almost sour, making the tip of his nostrils flare in disgust. The man was clearly an oaf to him.

“Wow, sounds like hard work.” The flat affect he had replied to Hank with did not go unnoticed. He slowly sat up straight, grabbing the remote from the side table and hitting pause. Hank turned to the weaselly young man with a scowl on his gruff face.

“Let’s cut the bullshit, boy. What the fuck are you doing trying to date my daughter?” The directness of the question took Robert off guard. He was unable to muster the words to reply before Hank had taken the opportunity instead. “You think she’s just some dumb, blonde, blue eyed bimbo don’t you? That she’ll be some nice, pretty little housewife that you can parade around like a trophy, don’t you?” Indignant, Robert quickly stood up, puffing out his chest like an underweight pufferfish.

“Sir, do not speak to me like…”

“Sit the fuck down, boy. I’m not done talking.” Hank’s authoritative tone juxtaposed sinisterly with just how disaffected his body language reflected. Sinister enough, in fact, to have Robert sheepishly slink back down to his seat on the couch. “You think you’re being so damn sly. I’ve known little bitchass pricks like you my whole life, so rich and slick you think you own the world and you know it all. Let me ask you a question. Did you even know that Penny is in college to be a vet?” As if struck by paralysis, he clenched his jaw and gripped his thigh. He hadn’t known that. “Didn’t think so. Did you know she was the state champion on her high school speech team? Or that she likes to write little short stories in her spare time? Did you bother to ask her about her family? About how she grew up with a father who was only 17 when he had her and a mother who died in childbirth?” Robert knew nothing of Penelope past what he immediately saw. It was of no importance to him, nor was it something he anticipated confronting on the first meeting with her family.

“Sir… Hank… I don’t know what…” Before he could utter another word, Hank’s calloused fingers clamped his lips shut. He could taste the whiskey on the dirty fingers, the smells of alcohol and manscent radiating from this Herculean man.

“Where are you going after this, Robert?” Beadlets of sweat began to streak down from his perfectly coiffured hair, and his pupils slowly began to dilate. “It wouldn’t be meeting up with some poor girl named Lily would it?” The color flushed from Robert’s face. He turned his eyes to the dining room pocket doors, where Penelope stood with rage filled eyes. He whimpered as she slowly shut the doors, ending with the quiet click of the lock. This was not a cutesy dinner to meet daddy dearest. This was a set up.

Suddenly, his head was yanked down to the ground, his whole body following suit with a loud thud. As Robert gasped for air, he screamed desperately for anyone to hear, only to have Hank’s meaty, sweaty foot slammed into his mouth. He looked up, just as he’d taken off his second boot, letting them sit side by side on the coffee table.

“See, one night after one of your little hookups, you left your phone unlocked on the bedside table. And you happened to leave it open on a chain of texts between you and some gal named Lily. Do I need to ask what it’s about, or do we understand eachother, Rob?” The taste of ripe foot sweat sloshing around his mouth, and the added pressure of Hank’s second foot pressing down atop his head finally got through to him just what was happening and he tearfully nodded. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Hank removed his rank foot, grasping Robert by the hair and spitting into his open mouth.

“H… Hank… I’ll go. I will leave and never talk to her again. I promise! She will never hear from me again, I pro…” Robert’s face was soon enveloped by Hank’s wet, dank boot, immediately shutting him up.

“No, no, no, Rob. See, you need to change your ways. I don’t know how your high and mighty daddy raised you, but I guess I’m gonna have to give you a crash course in masculinity.” Rob pushed the boot from his face, attempting to dash out of the room, but was quickly put right back in place. “Uh uh. You put that fuckin’ boot on your face and breathe it in until I tell you not to.” Like the pathetic weasel he was, Robert nodded, and slowly brought the stinking boot back to his face. A swift kick in the side of the head made him yelp, letting in the cheesy footstink once again. As he continued breathing it in with bated huffs, a foggy haze set in over his brain.

“See, Rob. Penny knows all about Lily. She also knows about Diana, and Olivia, and Desiree, and Velma, and Whitney. Worse for you, I now know how you treat my fucking daughter. You’re not good enough for Penelope, Rob. But you will be when I’m done with you.” The boot was pulled away from his face once more, revealing Hank in his full nude splendor before him: flexing his hairy muscles and flipping him the bird.

“I’ll get better sir! I’ll treat her like the princess she is! I’ll…” Another swift kick to the face, and his whining ended for the last time.

“You’re gonna treat her like a queen, you little bitch. If you wanna be a king, you’re gonna have a queen standing next to you. If you wanna be a man, you’re gonna have to start fuckin’ acting like one.” Hank tossed his discarded clothes in front of Robert’s groveling face. “Take those fancy fuckin’ things off and put em’ on, Rob.” In one last ditch effort to assert his dominance, Robert threw the clothes right back at Hank’s face.

“I’m not a fucking fag! You think I’m gonna put on those fuckin’ nasty ass clo…” Into his mouth, once again, Hank inserted his cheesy, smelly foot. Though this time, it seemed to push even farther in than Robert thought physically possible, going all the way in to the base of his ankle.

“Damn, son. Hate the gays too, huh? You’re one disgusting piece of shit, aren’t you? If I hadn’t promised my daughter a man as good as her daddy, you’d have made one hell of a good little sub. Licking my disgusting, stinkin’ feet every day after work… Licking the dick cheese from my cock… Getting fucked raw and rough day in and day out…” Completely gagged by Hank’s foot pressing into the back of his throat, Robert whimpered and sniveled, terrified by the prospect. “But, instead, I’m gonna make sure she gets a real man. And if that means I have to do it from the inside out…” The foot lodged in Robert’s throat started to slink further and further down, as Hank smirked down at the little shit that was going to be his new son. “Then that’s what we’re gonna do. Now… Just open up a little more…”

—

From behind the dining room door, Penelope smiled as she placed down two plates on the table, portioning out some of the Chicken and Wild Rice she’d prepared. Slick, wet, stretching sounds, echoing throughout the house didn’t even seem to faze her. Not even the groans, the squelching, the cracking, nor the sloshing and final snap made her so much as flinch as she poured the wine into two clean glasses. A single pair of heavy footsteps approached the pocket doors to the living room, and a gentle knock on the door signaled it was time to eat.

She strode over to the door, flipping the lock open and sliding it open. Behind the door stood Rob, now perhaps triple the mass and musculature he was when he entered the house and completely covered in tattoos. Sporting Hank’s sweaty blue tank, compression shorts, and stinking dirty socks, he towered over a slackjawed Penelope. He leaned over and kissed her on her cheek, before sitting down at the table.

“Daddy, he’s perfect. How did you even get tattoos on him?” She looked her soon to be partner up and down, admiring the blonde stubble which peppered his jawline and the sweet, yet sour stench which wafted from every inch of his chiseled body. Rob, or rather Hank for the interim, smirked at his daughter as he placed his napkin on his lap.

“C'mon baby girl. Your Dad’s gotta keep some secrets to himself. He wanted to be some hot shit bad boy, so I made him one. I’ll teach you how to do it all when the time is right. Once I’m done with him, I’ll even teach him how to slip in. He’ll be a real man in a few weeks.” Rob’s voice was a solid two octaves deeper, with that familiar gruff scratchiness that would have anyone riddled with goosebumps. Penelope smiled, as she added some green beans to their plates.

“So it’s like three weeks or so, right? I should be done with my finals by then, I can’t wait to see how he turns out. You’re having him trained as a foreman, right?” Hank nodded, the body he wore as a suit still squished and squeaked as he moved.

“Yup. He’ll be a chargehand for a year or so. I’ll be able to keep an eye on him if some of our adjustments don’t stick.” Penelope giggled, as her dad winked at her through her boyfriend’s dark brown eyes. “I might do a few extra little things while I’m in here. By the time he’s a free man again, he’s gonna treat you the way you deserve to be treated, Penny; and he’ll do it just how you like it too.” She blushed, waving off her embarrassment. “Besides, you think the boys on the site aren’t gonna wanna piece of this guy?” Hank flexed his borrowed guns as the two laughed, eating their dinner, as if nothing had happened.

—

Penelope’s keys jingled as she inserted the key into the lock. She’d put on six or seven alarms on her phone, more than excited to walk into her house that day. As she did, the sound of a game on the TV and two voices cheering met her ears. She dropped her book bag, and took a deep breath as she entered the living room. There, on the couch was her father, and her absolute stud of a boyfriend smoking cigars with their feet up on the coffee table like the best of friends.

“Babe!” She ran over to her man, tackling him as he stood up. She inhaled his masculine musk, running her hands over his hard arms still slick with sweat, gripping him tightly as he effortlessly lifted her off the ground. They kissed, the savory taste of tobacco, whiskey, and mint enveloping her tongue as they twisted in eachother’s mouths.

“Bobby! While I’m sitting right here?” Hank joked, as he slapped Bobby’s thick back. “You two have some catching up to do. I’ll see you two a little later.” He winked at his daughter as he walked out of the room. Bobby put her back down on the ground, and plopped back down onto the sofa. As she got down on her knees, gingerly peeling his stained, sweaty shorts off his thick thighs, Bobby gently put his thumb on her bottom lip.

“I missed you so much babe. C'mere. I wanna show my girl what us boys in the trailer do at lunch.” He peeled his sneaker from his foot, taking an inhale of his hot, smelly footscent, extending his wet socked foot toward her; knowing fully well how to get his kinky queen as happy as possible.