Eyewitness Testimony

 

Tyler had it all. A nice, loving, Christian family; straight A’s; a cute girlfriend; and so much money he didn’t know what to do with it. He was popular, cute, and had any girl he flashed his big, pretty boy eyes at. A tumblr king and drama queen, this boy had it all. So, it may come as a shock to you that he has gone missing. 

The last anyone heard of him, he was leaving his girlfriend’s house on Laurel Street at 3 PM on February 2nd, enroute to the nearby bakery for his weekly baguette and butter. He never arrived. His parents, immediately worried that their son never came home, notified the New Orleans Police Department, declaring him missing. The following is an account from the only eyewitness to his disappearance; a 62 year old man walking down the street.

“Well, I was on my way back from an extended lunch. I had a meeting with another accountant and was heading back to my office, when that missing kid bumped into me. He dropped his phone, and the screen cracked on the pavement. I apologized, but this kid was furious! He was screaming and yelling at me, and after a minute or so, he stormed down the sidewalk in the opposite direction.

Now, if you’re from New Orleans, you know that people don’t act that way. So it caught me a little off guard. You know, I was a little worried he might have been on something, so I just took a quick glance behind me before I walked away. He was still stomping down the street, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw this other guy watching him from his front stoop. He was one of those… you know… Punk kids. Ne’er do wells. There’s a bunch of them in this town, so he wasn’t any different than the other kids I’ve seen around. But, it was how he looked at him that made me a little nervous.

Now, our pastor always tells us that all people are our neighbors, so I just wanted to make sure that he was able to pass by this guy safely. I know it looks really suspicious and all, but I was spying from behind one of the trees. The punk with the pink mohawk and face jewelry said something to him as he was passing by his gate. He was still pretty standoffish, but I guess something he said changed his mood, because after exchanging a few words, he opened the gate and joined that kid on his stoop!

I know it’s none of my business, but these ruffians always cause trouble around town, and I just wanted to make sure he was gonna be alright. So, I got a little closer. Next to his house was a little smoothie shop. So, I sat down at one of those outside tables and pretended to look at my phone. The two were just talking about the punk’s piercings and stuff… His hair, and his disgusting, ratty, spikey jacket… I mean, it seemed to me like that little punk was baiting him! Flirting with him! I should have left, but… I guess I thought I was too far into this whole thing, and I had to see it through!

That dirty punk pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one for himself. What’s strange is that he was blowing the smoke in that kid’s face! It didn’t seem weird at the time, but looking back, it was a little peculiar. He kept asking the kid questions. Like, ‘You think I’m sexy, don’t chya?’ and ‘You like bad boys, don’t chya?’ He kept… Nodding. Mindlessly. Like he was hypnotized or something. Then, things took a turn for the worse.

I need to mention that for 3:20 in the afternoon, the street was unreasonably quiet. There wasn’t anyone walking down the street, the people working in the shops were nowhere to be seen, no cars… I just found that odd. So, when I tell you what I’m about to tell you, I guess you’ll just have to take my word for it…

That pink-haired punk took a big inhale from that cigarette, flicked it into the gutter, grabbed the kid, and kissed him. And I don’t mean he gave him a little peck on the cheek. This guy looked like he was giving mouth to mouth! I could see the kid was kissing back and all, but there was something off about it… I could just tell. Maybe it was the fact that I could see little puffs of smoke billowing out in between their kissing. It was then that I noticed something impossible. When that kid bumped into me, he was wearing a pretty simple grey sweatshirt and jeans. I know that’s what he was wearing. But now… those jeans went from blue to… black. They were tighter, all ripped up and patched… Nothing like what he was wearing just seconds earlier!

I guess I was focusing so much on the pants that I didn’t see that his grey sweatshirt was now an old leather vest, with all those spikes and regalia and such, on top of a ripped up old red button up. Even though I hadn’t looked at his shoes when I bumped into him, I know he wasn’t wearing knee-high combat boots, with his dirty toes peeping out of holes in the leather. 

By the time was able to look at his face, I saw his hair stand on end and turn blue! I saw the lobes of his ears open up with those metal gauges, and a ring pop out of his nose! They stopped kissing just for a second so the pink scoundrel could pull out some sunglasses and put them on his new… toy! 

I know what I saw. I know it sounds crazy, but I know what I saw! The two got up, held hands with those… ugly fingerless gloves… And started to walk away. I… I panicked! I just looked down at my phone, hoping they wouldn’t notice me. But… I smelled cigarettes… Musk… Cheap booze… I looked up, and they were standing in front of me. The blue haired kid… the missing kid… He looked at me, brought his face real close to mine, and he said to me: ‘Ya like the show, grandpa?’

I couldn’t say anything before he spit on my face and laughed. While I was wiping off his smelly spit, I guess they walked away, because when I looked up… They were gone. I don’t know where they went. I can’t sleep, I still feel that smokey, slimy spit on my face. I still smell that nasty, smelly musk of theirs. You have to save him! You have to believe me!”