Dr. W. A. Frost's Ides of Revolution

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  Every now and again, when things just weren’t going your way, a brisk hike through the woods always helped to clear your mind. The rustling leaves, chirping of birds, the gravel trail beneath your shoes… it just seemed to help all the troubles and struggles of the day melt away. Today, however, something was off. You parked your car in the North Lot, and being so eager to decompress you left the lights on. Two hours later, you return to a lemon. The battery was dead, and with no one else in the parking lot, your only option was to run to the South Lot where the ranger station was. Thus, you sighed in exhaustion as you turned around and stumbled the long three mile trek to the South Lot. The park was massive, and only had one main road for cars to pass from the entrance to the two parking lots. The winding gravel road was not particularly well maintained, and you thought to yourself on more than one occasion that the designer of the park must have had some bad Acid when he had rou...

  “Let’s begin: Subject 37613. Male, twenty five years of age, found on a farm outside of Muscatine, Iowa. Height of five foot two, weight of one hundred and twelve. Physiology is... inadequate.” Baynil sat behind his console, observing the lanky young man abducted from his bed, now restrained and standing nude on the Anatomizer. The skinny little guy chattered incessantly on and on about how exciting it was to meet ‘aliens from another planet,’ as he’d read so often in his books. “Subject continues to attempt communication, now commencing immediate silencing for procedure accuracy.” Blathering even still, the man was unable to notice the mechanical arms descending from the ceiling, before everything went black. Baynil exhaled a sigh of relief, as the elastic hood which had been placed over his head tightened and quieted the irritation. “Adryx, please take the subject’s vitals.” Another tall light green humanoid walked into the room, tying the mane of white tendrils behin...

Aiden Robichaux was a run-of-the-mill good guy. Born and raised in a small town in middle Pennsylvania, he saw little of the world outside his county. He’d just finished his second semester in college, studying History to become a teacher someday. To everyone around him, he was the blue eyed, cute good boy next door. What he, nor the rest of family knew, was that he was not a Roberts. It was just a run of the mill genetics assignment: to get your DNA tested to extrapolate family genetics. He pricked his finger, waited the week and a half for the results, and when the envelope was opened… With 99.4% accuracy, Aiden was 91% Scottish, and the rest was a splattering of various other ethnicities from the isles. As everyone around him laughed and talked about their family histories, and their parents told them about their great aunts and uncles, Aiden would be discussing his adoption with his parents.  From what they knew, his mother died in childbirth, and his father had died just after...

  It was a dark and stormy night… Nah, I’m fuckin with ya. It was a pretty clear night, actually. A Friday night to be specific, and after a long couple of hours in my old office, I have to say, it was a fuck shit day. All in all, after doing a solid 12 hours behind my computer screen under the dim light of a flickering fluorescent bulb, I’d felt as if I had earned a drink or two. Every now and again I’d go out with a few work friends to grab a Vodka Soda or two, but ever since we’d moved office spaces across town, our watering hole was a little too far out of the way. I found myself going out alone that particular evening, when I came across the Raw Hide. The moment I walked through the door into the bar, dimly lit with a scarlet red light, I knew that this wouldn’t be the same experience I’d been used to. The cement floors were dirty and littered with wet napkins and questionable puddles, the wallpaper was literally peeling off of the walls, the bartender was wearing only a leath...

  I plopped down on my couch, fuckin’ exhausted. I’d been on the halfpipe for a solid seven hours, and there was about another hour and a half of bathroom orgies… So you can imagine, I was beat. Lighting up the blunt I’d left out, I toked mindlessly. Ready for a night of R&R. I’d just started to lift up my arm to get a whiff of my pits, a constant joy since I’d… evolved, and the tangy stink had nearly tickled the hairs in my nose before a loud crash outside my window interrupted me. I’ll let you know this about me: NO ONE interrupts ‘me time,’ especially when I’m takin’ in my au naturale poppers. Jumping off the couch I threw the door open to my balcony, looking at the street below.  The street was dark, lit dimly by gaslamps. Yet, just barely within my line of sight, I saw one of the neighborhood beggar guys named Blair. He would come and skateboard around the neighborhood about a few times per week, I’d given him spare change on my way up to the apartment. A nice kid, re...